Child Education
by: Brigitte Meier
The initial state of happiness about
an own child is often overcome with annoyance after
even a short period of time. Children quickly grow
an own personality, and it's the most vital task
of the parents to help develop it and give it a shape.
Otherwise, the little angel can turn into a little
devil adding considerably to the stress in life you
already have.
Like everything else in life, child
education is a tightrope walk between strictness
and letting loose. Drifting off either way causes
more problems than it solves. But of course what
sounds clear and obvious in theory is much harder
to actually apply practically.
The suggestions here are no rules to
follow, they're mere guidelines and should animate
own thoughts and ideas. After all, it's up to you
what you think is best.
1. Discipline
During the first six month of its life,
a baby won't yet be able to understand the connection
between "bad behaviour" and punishment.
What it really needs during that time is care and
loving, to tighten the emotional bounds to its parents.
Nevertheless, even a baby that small
is fully capable of repeating actions that lead to
a pleasant result. So if any sob makes you appear
immediately on the cradle, you'll find that you have
a miniature dictator soon who keeps you up and running
with joy.
Between seven and fourteen months,
children normally start testing their limits. This
results from a growth in both mobility and stubbornness,
so what's being put on test are the parents' patience
with keeping their little ones from exploring, often
eating and probably destroying the reachable parts
of the household and for how long they can get away
with it.
Babies at that age start challenging
their parents by stubborn disobedience, but that
should not lead to punishment. Be firm and persistent
in telling and showing them what they're not supposed
to do, but don't be rude or harsh. Their concentration
usually doesn't last, so distraction is a great weapon.
They still need a lot of love, and your reward will
be a happy time with a sometimes annoying, but mostly
very cute baby.
Going towards an age of two years,
the obstinacy takes often a negative direction: "No" is
the preferred answer to all "propositions" ranging
from eating and choice of toys to taking a bath and
going to sleep.
Discipline can become considerably
harder to apply, but is vital to steer the course
of your child's further development. It has to learn
that the authority and decision is with the parents.
Still, love and forgiveness is of even importance.
Especially the father's role as an authority for
the child and support for his wife can make this
period a lot easier.
With increasing mobility, skill and
curiosity a child between two and three years can
keep its mother constantly busy, taking every moment
of silence as an indication of a new disaster involving
eating things, messing around with things and getting
stuck in things.
This can really add to the load of
stress parents already have, and the explosive emotional
or even physical reaction might ease the moment,
but on the long term increases the problem. So be
as relaxed as possible and make sure you've got all
valuable pieces of household equipment properly secured.
When children receive a bump or scratch that's no
drama - turning it into one will just make you and
your child over-freightened in the future. Still,
with all calmness, don't miss to tell your child
when it did wrong and discipline when it's overdoing
it.
In the following years, the focus of
education should be on the child's character and
attitudes. The influence of trends, friends and media
is strong, and the temptation to try new things is
high. At the same time, the control parents have
over their children's activities is reduced, and
especially when it comes to trends parents often
lack understanding for the things that are "in".
So even though your child becomes more
independent, it's important that you have time together
and show interest in its experiences, interests and
problems. Offer to talk about things, but don't urge.
Show understanding and always be there as someone
your child can talk to without fear - remember the
days when you were in that age, and your feelings
at that time.
And, most important: Be a paradigm
to your child. You cannot expect it to do something
you don't have the power or courage to do yourself.
Respect is nothing that can be taught, but has to
be earned, even by parents.
2. Rules of thumb
- Be just!
Don't expect your child to behave according
to rules you haven't set. Especially young children
often can't distinguish between right and wrong.
So even if something is clearly a stupid idea for
you, it might seem a brilliant one to it.
- Be firm!
If you give in to your child's defiant
reaction, maybe because you're just tired of the
whole thing, you lose much more than that fight.
You give away authority and respect.
- Forgive!
After a confrontation is settled, reassure
your child of your love and show that you're not
resentful.
- Don't ask for the impossible!
No matter what your means of education
are like, you can't expect a child to behave like
an adult. Children sometimes behave irresponsibly
- that's built-in.
- Don't forget the love!
In the end, no matter how much trouble
you might have with each other, don't forget to show
that you love your child. And when it comes to decide
how to educate, how to reward and how to discipline,
listen to your heart what's the right thing to do.
About The Author
Brigitte Meier is an occassional author for http://www.e-nterests.com
- visit the site for more interesting articles.
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