Child Education
by: Brigitte Meier
The initial state of happiness about an own child is often overcome with
annoyance after even a short period of time. Children quickly grow an own
personality, and it's the most vital task of the parents to help develop
it and give it a shape. Otherwise, the little angel can turn into a little
devil adding considerably to the stress in life you already have.
Like everything else in life, child education is a tightrope walk between
strictness and letting loose. Drifting off either way causes more problems
than it solves. But of course what sounds clear and obvious in theory is
much harder to actually apply practically.
The suggestions here are no rules to follow, they're mere guidelines and
should animate own thoughts and ideas. After all, it's up to you what you
think is best.
1. Discipline
During the first six month of its life, a baby won't yet be able to understand
the connection between "bad behaviour" and punishment. What it
really needs during that time is care and loving, to tighten the emotional
bounds to its parents.
Nevertheless, even a baby that small is fully capable of repeating actions
that lead to a pleasant result. So if any sob makes you appear immediately
on the cradle, you'll find that you have a miniature dictator soon who keeps
you up and running with joy.
Between seven and fourteen months, children normally start testing their
limits. This results from a growth in both mobility and stubbornness, so
what's being put on test are the parents' patience with keeping their little
ones from exploring, often eating and probably destroying the reachable parts
of the household and for how long they can get away with it.
Babies at that age start challenging their parents by stubborn disobedience,
but that should not lead to punishment. Be firm and persistent in telling
and showing them what they're not supposed to do, but don't be rude or harsh.
Their concentration usually doesn't last, so distraction is a great weapon.
They still need a lot of love, and your reward will be a happy time with
a sometimes annoying, but mostly very cute baby.
Going towards an age of two years, the obstinacy takes often a negative
direction: "No" is the preferred answer to all "propositions" ranging
from eating and choice of toys to taking a bath and going to sleep.
Discipline can become considerably harder to apply, but is vital to steer
the course of your child's further development. It has to learn that the
authority and decision is with the parents. Still, love and forgiveness is
of even importance. Especially the father's role as an authority for the
child and support for his wife can make this period a lot easier.
With increasing mobility, skill and curiosity a child between two and three
years can keep its mother constantly busy, taking every moment of silence
as an indication of a new disaster involving eating things, messing around
with things and getting stuck in things.
This can really add to the load of stress parents already have, and the
explosive emotional or even physical reaction might ease the moment, but
on the long term increases the problem. So be as relaxed as possible and
make sure you've got all valuable pieces of household equipment properly
secured. When children receive a bump or scratch that's no drama - turning
it into one will just make you and your child over-freightened in the future.
Still, with all calmness, don't miss to tell your child when it did wrong
and discipline when it's overdoing it.
In the following years, the focus of education should be on the child's
character and attitudes. The influence of trends, friends and media is strong,
and the temptation to try new things is high. At the same time, the control
parents have over their children's activities is reduced, and especially
when it comes to trends parents often lack understanding for the things that
are "in".
So even though your child becomes more independent, it's important that
you have time together and show interest in its experiences, interests and
problems. Offer to talk about things, but don't urge. Show understanding
and always be there as someone your child can talk to without fear - remember
the days when you were in that age, and your feelings at that time.
And, most important: Be a paradigm to your child. You cannot expect it to
do something you don't have the power or courage to do yourself. Respect
is nothing that can be taught, but has to be earned, even by parents.
2. Rules of thumb
- Be just!
Don't expect your child to behave according to rules you haven't set. Especially
young children often can't distinguish between right and wrong. So even if
something is clearly a stupid idea for you, it might seem a brilliant one
to it.
- Be firm!
If you give in to your child's defiant reaction, maybe because you're just
tired of the whole thing, you lose much more than that fight. You give away
authority and respect.
- Forgive!
After a confrontation is settled, reassure your child of your love and show
that you're not resentful.
- Don't ask for the impossible!
No matter what your means of education are like, you can't expect a child
to behave like an adult. Children sometimes behave irresponsibly - that's
built-in.
- Don't forget the love!
In the end, no matter how much trouble you might have with each other, don't
forget to show that you love your child. And when it comes to decide how
to educate, how to reward and how to discipline, listen to your heart what's
the right thing to do.
About The Author
Brigitte Meier is an occassional author for http://www.e-nterests.com - visit
the site for more interesting articles.
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